Sunday 4 December 2011

Other People Are a Mirror of Ourselves

The following is a response to one of my clients about a situation in which a colleague hurt her feelings. She had asked him for some advice and he ended up helping her to feel really badly about herself. She reached out to me as she was still reeling from these feelings. This was my response.

Hi Susan,
Thanks for reaching out. Remember that other people are sometimes a mirror of ourselves. If someone takes a strike at us from what seems like from out of nowhere, it is usually because something inside of us is feeling unworthy, unloved, and deserving to be beaten up a little. We feel small, insecure, or unhappy on some level and we draw others to affirm that we are indeed small and unworthy.

I experienced a similar situation recently. It took me several days to get over it and I was so upset. Later, I realized that I was really asking for it (on a law of attraction level) because of the ways I was not in harmony with my life.

I was missing my old life, community, and friends. I was hung up on the past and not ready to get out there and make more effort in the present. I was being comparative, critical, and closed.

And now I am grateful for what happened as it propelled me to do better. It propelled me to get into harmony with my life.

Pain can be a great motivator for change.

And just like in your case, this kind of interaction helps you to assess your progress. Look, I'm fabulous Susan and I'm doing great with a, b, c, and d! I still need to work on e and f. For example, perhaps you should not ask someone for their advice randomly when you're feeling a bit low and unsure? If you do go seeking someone, make sure it's a person who really has your back like a trusted friend.

And you can always do a session with me, for example. Anytime.

Meditation practice SAVES us! Meditation quiets the mind and it so soothed me when I was feeling troubled. I highly recommend it. When I'm feeling low, it is the best tonic. When I'm happy, it propels me into deeper sweetness. Meditation can be the most powerful tool in a spiritual person's toolbox.

I feel sure this whole episode will have a positive impact on you...just let it unfold. Sometimes when we grow, we have to endure the discomfort of shedding our old skin.

On another note, the registration page for the Yogic Diet retreat in Bali is now up!!! And the dates are April 9-14, 2012. www.yogicdiet.com (This is for my other readers too! If you are reading this, consider yourself specifically invited to the retreat. Welcome!)

I so hope you can make it! Let me know what questions you have and if it looks like this is still a possibility for you.

So much love to you!
Monique

Thursday 3 November 2011

Meditation

As a young child, I walked several blocks alone each Sunday to go to church. I went to my grandmother’s denomination, Church of Christ. Later, I ran into a Methodist group I liked and joined that denomination. I did become disillusioned with that group because of some of the things some people said and did and because I was entering my teenage rebellious years.

My next big spiritual experience was when I studied abroad in Italy. Our professor was challenging religious doctrines and pushing us to think independently outside of our comfort zone and upbringing. I was also searching and seeking answers as I looked upon another and another Virgin and Jesus painting. I wrote in my journal at that time: “God doesn’t belong to any one faith. God belongs to everyone. God IS love.”

Traveling in Amsterdam after that program, I had one of my first big spiritual experiences. I ran into a homeless man on the street who was selling poetry. Though I normally don’t linger around the homeless, he caught my attention. He told me that he had lived with monks in Tibet. He had very clear blue sparking eyes. He knew my whole life story and encouraged me to forgive some very specific things about my father. How he read my life, I had no idea. He told me that I would meet my spiritual teacher in Asia, probably Japan.

After this experience, I had to wash my feet constantly. I mean constantly…in restaurant sinks and in fountains in Europe. I was having a cleansing that lasted for about two weeks. I later read that in India, the feet are the second heart. Something had awakened in me and was being kindled. I felt an inner shift.

About three years after this experience, I met my spiritual teacher, a yogi from India, when I was teaching in China. I have been with my teacher for 15 years now and have been blessed with an abundance of spiritual experiences as well as personal transformation…though I still have a ways to go.

I believe that one can really know and experience God by spending some time alone, quietly alone with God. Prayer, contemplation, self-inquiry, gratitude practice, scriptural study, yoga practice, and chanting can allow for this kind of sacred time. And meditation especially directly facilitates this kind of quality time.

If you are keen to try a little meditation, just sit quietly after your prayer time. Breathe deeply. Then allow your mind to quiet and relax. Sit for 5-10 minutes to start with. You may find yourself getting filled up from the inside. You may find that you enter into a whole new kind of relationship with you know who. Blessings!

Tuesday 11 October 2011

Sound Dietary Tips

Any form of dietary discipline will yield good results. Sticking to just about any program will help us feel inspired, strong, and powerful. It may also reduce the old waistline. Perhaps the drama comes into the story when we either don't stick to our well laid plans or we jump around from one program to another...low carb one week and low fat the next. By the third week, it's all carbs and all fats all the time.

This is one reason why I believe and trust in ancient health programs. Dietary suggestions that have lasted for 5,000 years are no longer fads. They are most likely true for most people most of the time. Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurveda are two ancient healing traditions that I've been exposed to. I've personally been powerful healed by Chinese medicinal cures twice and I've been following simple Ayurvedic lifestyle suggestions for long time.

Some dietary tips from Ayurveda that have influenced the Yogic Diet program that I teach and the yogic lifestyle that I aim to live are:

1. Have two glasses of warm water first thing in the morning before any other food, drink, or even teeth brushing. This is hydrating and moves the bowels. See, you really don't need coffee.

2. Eat mostly fruits before noon. When I eat 4-5 servings of fruit before lunch, I always lose weight and feel way more energetic than if I eat grains. This is an Ayurvedic suggestion that I discovered last fall. And this is another way to ensure that I get my 5-7 servings of fruits, veggies, fiber, vitamins, and minerals each day.

3. Eat the large meal of the day at lunch time. Hot basmati rice, beans, lentils, warm veggies, and a small salad...now that's what I call lunch!

4. Take a 10 minute walk after each meal. This so aids in digestion and rids our bodies of that post meal sluggish feeling.

5. Eat a light dinner of mostly cooked vegetables.

Of course, even more important than the food that we eat are the thoughts that we think. Our good health, happiness, weight, beauty, and energy levels are highly determined by our thoughts. Therefore, practices such as silent meditation and thinking about positive outcomes are central to ancient medicines and to the yogic diet program as well.

Sunday 2 October 2011

Must Do Yoga

We have recently relocated from Indonesia to Kuwait. And it looks like this will be a great assignment for our family. Life will be the same, yet different here.

I am also the same and different here. In some ways, I feel like I left some luggage/baggage in Indonesia that I no longer need. For example, in Indonesia I was always on a bit of a diet. I was thinking about cutting carbs and I wouldn't hardly eat rice. But you can be sure that I got my carbs in other ways...because the body must have balance at the end of the day. You know it's true.

Here in Kuwait, I am eating basmati rice every day with my legumes, yogurt, and veggies. I have a bit of raw sugar and whole milk in my chai too. I am no longer on a "diet" and I feel great, look fine, and have lots of energy. I am not gaining weight and I feel very balanced.

I am also the same in this new location. I must do yoga. I experimented with morning exercise classes with my lovely new neighbors and friends and I found myself so off balance! The cardio and intense exercise felt great at the time (like a cup of strong coffee). However, my mind was more agitated and my energy would crash in the afternoons.

When I stay home to do my yoga practice, I feel light, energized, positive, focused, peaceful, clear, and basically happy and pleasant to be around.

Also, at a certain age, pounding and pounding takes its toll on the lower back and knees. Thank God for yoga! I feel so blessed to have this practice.

May your own practices grow and deepen. May they support you through the ups and downs and changes of life. Some practices of the Yogic Diet are: moderate exercise, good nutrition, positive thinking, prayer, study, service, and meditation.

Love and Blessings,
Monique

Wednesday 22 June 2011

I Believe in Cooking

In a world where convenience and quickness is key, there is still a place for cooking. So much of our human culture revolves around family and food. The two are closley related and have given birth to the cuisines and colorful cultures that we cherish and celebrate.

Cooking is a necessity, an art, and a spiritual practice. Our families need real whole foods. We need relaxed, healthy, easily digestible meals. We need to cook and eat food as a therapeutic way to deal with the half-ass-ness of mainstreeam values. We need to cook to heal our bodies, minds, and spirits.

However, fast food, cold food, snack food, and convenience packaged food are making up so many of our meals. Of course, eating this way comes with lots of sugar, salt, fat, additives, coloring, and chemicals. So there are health issues associated with these foods as well, such as obesity.

I grew up around cooking and my children are growing up around cooking.

May we cook for our families, friends, and for ourselves. May we teach our children to cook and eat fresh, healthy foods that are prepared with patience and love. May we strive to include cooking as part of our spiritual, yogic practices.

Namaste,
Monique

Monday 16 May 2011

Food and Body Legacy

I had a fairly rough childhood. Although I was loved by many, I suffered through:
- Two parental divorces,
- Adults in my life with addiction issues,
- I grew up with mostly just my father,
- Loneliness. I stayed home from school a lot by myself due to terrible asthma and I was a latch key kid for many years - I took refuge in TV and the Frig.
- Instability and Insecurity about the future; I went to 11 different schools before high school,
- I had lots of mysterious stomachaches especially at night.

These events led me to find comfort in food, to become an emotional eater, and to overeat. The adults in my life fed me lots of sugar, fried foods, mashed potatoes, and white bread which were considered part of a normal diet. As we now know, these high glycemic index, high carb foods increase cravings for more food.

From 12-25, things began to look up for me. I gained confidence, ambition, a great education, self-esteem, and personal successes. However, I still held onto food, body image, weight, self-esteem, health, self-worth, and insecurity issues that led me to engage in some self-destructive behavior and relationships. I remember standing at the fridge and eating handful after handful of raisin bran as fast as I could...not out of hunger, but as a way to stuff my fears. A way to pacify my anxiety. I ate until I was stuffed and numb.

Many experiences have contributed to my healing and I continue to optimize my capacity heal and be healed to this day. My 15 years of yoga practice has been the most dramatic and sustaining catalyst for change, growth, healing, and happiness.

My practice includes:
- Yogic Diet - I eat a diet that balances blood sugar and is mostly plant based.
- Meditation - Quieting the mind reduces stress and stress eating; it also leads to lasting feelings of happiness and peace.
- Hatha Yoga - I practice yoga for an hour most days of the week and I walk.
- Self-acceptance - My weight fluctuates 5 pounds up and down; still I aim to love and accept myself just the way I am.
- Positive Thinking and Law of Attraction - Positive thinking takes practice! We have to learn to focus our minds on what we do want regardless of what our present circumstances may be.
- Prayer - I aim to be in a constant state of prayer and communication with God.

What are your practices?

The most important teaching that I have learned is that we are here To Serve. We need to take care of our issues, sort ourselves out, heal our bodies and make them strong, and release our addictions, mood swings, and negativities in order to be there for others.

Hopefully, our practices make it easier for others to be around us...like spouses, kids, family members, neighbors, co-workers, friends, and so on. Then, if we can be a light in the world once in a while - what a bonus!

Namaste and Keep Practicing!
Monique

Friday 29 April 2011

I am Willing to Take a Positive Step

One theme among my clients right now is discovering their willingness to keep taking a positive step forward to do something to help themselves feel good, contribute something, and curb bad habits. This discussion arose from looking at the three forms of energy:
Sattvic - pure, calm, peaceful energy,
Rajasic - excitable, over-stimulated, manic energy,
Tamasic - heavy, dull, grumpy, and lethargic energy.

We were delving into how we all keep moving back and forth to these three states. Some of us spend more time in the Tamasic heavy and dull state. In this state, it's hard to pick oneself up off the sofa to do much of anything and especially to eat right, go run around the block, and be cheerful and ready to serve others. Others keep it Rajasic...lots of screen time, sound, caffeine, activities, conversation, overeating, lack of mindful eating, and go, go, go. Of course, spending lots of time in this state sends one directly to the Tamasic state once things quiet down.

We all agreed that the Sattvic state is the most ideal place to spend most of our time. In this state, we take care of ourselves, keep our commitments, know our priorities, happily do spiritual practices and physical exercise, and take care of others with an good attitude. But how do we get there and stay there more of the time?

Sometimes making plans, promises, rules, and commitments can backfire on us. So, a gentle approach can be to adopt the mantra, "I am Willing to Take Positive Step." It is also helpful to make a list of items that could be a positive step for you. Your list may include: exercises you enjoy, reaching a for a piece of fruit and savoring it mindfully as a snack, cleaning out a drawer, writing a thank you note, playing with your kids/pets, and sending your partner a loving text.

One client mentioned that going on a long walk can be a daunting thought, but being willing to walk to the end of the street is more doable. So this aspect of knowing yourself and your areas of resistance is very helpful.

For the next week, see if you be willing to take a positive step.

Blessings,
Monique

Monday 4 April 2011

How May I Serve?

The other day, I had a miserable night's sleep which resulted in a not very pleasant morning mood. I wasn't really looking forward to the day. And then Ibu Ani arrived. Ibu Ani has been a part of my household for five years as a cook and housekeeper here in Indonesia. I'll be missing her when I go! Anyhow, I asked her if she ever has restless nights and she gave me an interesting reply.

This lovely, devout, Muslim lady told me that when she can't sleep, she gets out of bed to pray for an extended period. Then she studies her scriptures for a while and goes back to sleep. She says it works every time. She told me quite clearly, "You know when you pray, you don't pray for yourself. You pray as an offering to God."

Since I had been in a rather self-absorbed poor-sleepless-and-tired me mode, this exchange with Ibu made an impact on me. I don't think I would have gone to do my morning prayers/chanting/hatha yoga practices had I not talked to her. Sometimes God speaks to us through each other.

So, as my paradigm for the day was shifting, I went to do my practices as an OFFERING. I wasn't doing them to feel better. I ended up having a very clear intention that week that I was living and giving in service to my maker, my body, my family, and my community with all of my actions. I had a wonderful week!

The impact of this small encounter lingers on. Sometimes when I don't really feel like doing something positive, helpful, generous, or productive, I'm trying to remember Ibu Ani. I'm trying to remember the phrase that Dr. Wayne Dyer lives by, "How may I serve?" I am trying to remember that the purpose of my life (according to yoga philosophy) is to aim to know God and to serve others. Basically, the purpose is to live in that open handed state of offering...no matter how we feel.

It is not always easy to do, but I suppose the purpose of life isn't supposed to be easy.

Namaste,
Monique

Thursday 17 March 2011

The Queen of Happy

I wanted to share with you some feedback from a participant of the Yogic Diet 2011 retreat in Bali. Here is what she had to say:

Changes from Retreat:
Diet:
The foods we ate during the retreat left me feeling so good that I wanted to continue that when I got home. I am much more aware of what I eat and how it makes me feel. I have had a couple cups of coffee and a little wine and some meat. The coffee I really enjoyed, the wine just made me feel like crap, and the meat was good - but left me feeling heavy. I have also had some desserts too. The best part about what has changed is that I am enjoying a treat now and then (coffee, ice cream, etc), but then I move on and don't look back. Before I would have felt bad about myself and just totally went overboard and eaten everything bad for me all the time. Now I am not in an ALL of NOTHING mentality. I am excited enough about the foods that my husband is attempting a detox like diet for 5 days like we did during the retreat. We are doing the best we can to follow the guidelines and remembering what we ate. I am excited for him!

Lifestyle: My rut was a pretty deep one and I am having to work hard to get out of it. I am better but find it easy to slip back in. I am making more time for myself and using my time more effectively. I am more aware that I waste a lot of time and I am not sure on what (hence the waste). I do know that I was not taking care of me before the retreat. Now I am concentrating on making time for me (quality time).

Yoga: So I am hooked on yoga. It makes me feel great. I gained a lot of confidence in myself during the retreat. I can do it on my own with a video or just audio. I am working on a schedule so I can do it more often.

Positive Thinking: Overall I am more positive. I am very aware of my self talk and how it has not been positive. When I catch myself with negative thoughts I shift them to a positive.

During the retreat I lost 3 pounds and I have continued to lose another 3 pounds since I got home. I am very excited about this because I have had some splurges with my eating and I have not found the right routine to do regular exercise. So going back to that All of Nothing idea..... I have gotten away from that. I am physically active (but not as much as my goal is) and happy that I have done something. I am not beating myself up over not getting it all done. This is a big one for me.

Aspects in my life that have been influenced:
Diet - I am more aware of how foods affect me.
Body image - I look good. I am not seeing all the trouble spots I used to.
Exercise - I am more active.
Yoga - I want to do more and I have more confidence in my abilities.
Relationships - I am more calm with my children; I am using my law of attraction notes and it seems to be helping.
Meditation - I enjoy it, but must make more time for it! Miss it.

Insights:
From Tomasz - Seriously would be "NO DRAMA." He also taught me that I CAN do yoga!
From Monique - I can obtain what I am wanting and the law of attraction does work. I am an awesome person!

Thank you so much for this opportunity.
The Queen of Happy

Tuesday 8 March 2011

Our Retreat

Our first Yogic Diet retreat was recently held in the lush and surprisingly breezy, cool mountains of Bali, Indonesia. Our group of 14 met at dinner and then wrapped ourselves in sarongs to prepare for a blessing from a Balinese Hindu priest. Every aspect of life is ritualistically blessed in Bali and each of us, carrying our own intentions for positive change, were ready to receive. We sat on the ground on this full moon night and held incense sticks while the aged priest chanted. When he finished, we sipped three spoons of holy water from our palms to bring the blessing within. The retreat had begun auspiciously.

This auspiciousness continued as each conversation seemed blessed. Each sharing from the teachers Monique and Tomasz, from Richard our Australian Bali mountain man, and from the participants about yoga, diet, health, life, relationships, challenges, and more entered our bodies, minds, and spirits. Each yoga session took us deeper into our strong bodies and higher into our big hearts. Each coaching session was a peeling back of layers as we unwrapped the golden nugget that we really do create our own realities and all it takes is a new thought to create a new reality. Each trek through the jungle or rice paddy encouraged us to remember that abundance in nature really is our birthright if we can just be in harmony with her and strive to take better care of her.

And oh my gosh, the food! Most people on the retreat had never taken a break from caffeine, alcohol, meat, processed food, white flour, and sugar like that. Some were worried about how they would handle such a detox. But the yummy, colorful, delicious, Balinese vegetable laden dishes kept appearing to satisfy our appetites and the ginger-lime-honey teas and fruits kept appearing to quench our thirsts. The food was amazing and especially cooked for us with love. And even though I eat a similar diet at home...I feel a longing for the food we had at the retreat. It was good and it somehow fed the soul.

So, the retreat was a great success! People who wanted to lose weight did (from 2-8 lbs). People who wanted to feel happier did and seemed to feel more hope for their futures. People who wanted to have fun and do yoga did! Tomasz rocked it as always and twice a day! And each time one of the yogis walked up the steps to the open air yoga room to surrender to the ritual of practice...he/she was a hero.

Namaste,
Monique

Wednesday 9 February 2011

Thank God I Got The Flu

Last week, I had the flu. I had not been sick in a long time...not even a sniffle. But somehow I knew that when my housekeeper starting sneezing around the house that I was going to get this one. Never mind that this year I had the second flu shot that I've ever taken in my life. I knew I was going to get it.

Then it came...the sneezing, fever, body aches, painful sinus cavities, naps, moaning, etc. No fun, not happy. C'est la vie. However, on the 5th day when I was still napping for three hours in daylight, I decided to see a doctor.

Fairly randomly, he asked me to go to the lab and do blood work. Half an hour later when the test results came back, he called me in and said that I had a problem, but the flu and the hurting nasal passages weren't it. He said my hemoglobin was down to 7 (12-16 is normal). And since we live in a developing country where the medical can be sketchy, he asked me to fly to Singapore the next day for further tests.

Imagine my shock as I sat in the waiting room of an Oncologist's office in Singapore the next day. I was panicking and my husband didn't look too relaxed either. Anyhow, to make a long story short, I didn't have the C word. It seems that I have an iron deficiency anemia. This means that I've been running around with about half a tank of oxygen and didn't even really know it. But looking back, I do see some signs: the dizziness that I felt doing Sun Salutations, the shortness of breath I felt when running around the block, and my growing need for afternoon caffeine weren't just in my mind.

Now why is this nutrition/healthy lifestyle person getting anemia? I believe that there are spiritual as well as physical reasons. On the physical side, I had not been really paying attention to eating particularly iron rich foods and my female cycle has gotten heavier over the last few years...a common reason for anemia. On the spiritual side, I can see that I've been pinching off the joy in a few areas of my life. And now I have a relatively small wake up call to make these right.

I did have a big pity party for about five days after the diagnosis. I got mad that I physically need more rest and naps and I felt afraid. But I'm coming out of the fog. Tonight, I did my first yoga practice in two weeks with an attitude of sheer joy and delight. Yoga is amazing...what a life affirming practice.

I TRUST that I will be well and that all will be well. I will listen to my body, keep up the iron, and smile, laugh, and give my love more often. May we all optimize our capacities to heal and be healed each and every day. ACHOO! God bless you.

Wednesday 19 January 2011

A Quiet Mind

Recently, a friend of mine starting meditating and she loves it. She says she looks forward to her meditation time every day. I understand her enthusiasm!

One time I was at a yoga retreat where we engaged in many kinds of yoga practices. As you may know, most yoga practices and exercises are ultimately aimed at quieting our minds so that we can meditate. Well, we did lots of yoga and I had an interesting experience.

As the chattering voices around me became silent, due to us all being engaged in yoga practice, I could hear my own chattering mind more clearly. Several things came up in my mind that I recognized that I wanted to work on. So this was a good thing as I was able to pray and meditate on these items and then kind of let them go.

Then, my mind became more silent. This felt so good, peaceful, and refreshing. One yoga sutra says that when the space between our thoughts expands, the bliss inside of us grows. I could definitely feel that.

However, what happened next was the most touching experience. I found that as my own mind/voice became quiet, I could hear an Inner voice more clearly. That voice said to go here and do that. That voice was in the flow. It was a deeper, more intuitive voice. That voice was inside me and I could hear it clearly since I was quiet.

My mind is not nearly as quiet in my regular life as it is on retreat. However, just remembering that experience draws me back to my meditation mat and yoga practices again and again. Just a few moments of touching that silence space in meditation still infuses my day with sweetness and reminds me that I have access to that Inner voice.

May you create the time and space for your spiritual practices and attain all the benefits of a quieted, trusting, peaceful mind.